Commencement Advice From a Middle Aged Mom

I'm no Ira Glass, but If I were giving a commencement speech to new graduates, I certainly wouldn't sugar coat anything.   

Of course, you already know that we are in a recession and that jobs are scarce. Hopefully your four years plus in college have served as a platform for more than just academics.

When I was leaving for college, my father gave me some sage advice. He said, "Of course I want you to do well academically” (he had to say that since he was a teacher), “but more importantly, I want you to take these four years to mature and grow socially. That will serve you far better than a 4.0." I might have taken the social advice a little too far, but for the most part, he was right.

Given the economic climate, here's what I suggest for new graduates:

1. Have fun.

Most likely you are single with limited baggage. Use your early years to kindle new relationships. These connections, whether personal or business, will serve you well later in life.

2. Keep writing.

I know you've done your fair share already, but writing is a skill that transcends technological change. Try blogging to keep your skills sharp. I truly believe that if you can write, you can do almost anything.

3. Stay close to home.

A recent study suggests that our relationships with friends and family are what make us happy. Stay knitted to these people and they can help you through the bumps in life.

4. Lower your expectations.

Society puts so much pressure on us to "exceed our highest expectations," but if they aren't that high to start with, than you've already succeeded. More importantly, the pressure you put on yourself to be the best might actually blind you to an opportunity that could lead your life on a whole new path.

5. Be nice.

This sounds a little trite, but one thing I've learned over the years is that niceness attracts niceness. Period.

6. Save your money.

My parents did it, but somehow my generation got caught up in the "society of stuff." It's time to go old-school with your finances, ditch your credit cards and save some money.

7. Don't date or be the "50 Shades of Grey" guy.

Somehow this poorly plotted book has been put on a pedestal, since sex clearly still sells. Unfortunately, Christian Grey is just a creepy guy who has deep-rooted issues from childhood. Your spouse or partner will be one of the most integral parts in your life. Make sure you pick a good one.

8. Stay healthy or get healthy.

Exercise, eating well and keeping a healthy mind are enduring habits that will benefit you in all aspects of your life and hopefully will be passed on to your children.

9. It’s not all about you.

Take a little portion of yourself and dedicate it to global goodness. Our world faces many problems and it’s your social responsibility to help improve things for generations to follow.

10. Think creatively.

I recently heard that young adults today will have seven to ten career changes in their life time, five of which don't exist yet. The future appears to be an exciting mystery. The best you can do is arm yourself with common sense and creativity.

Fingers crossed!

The Spirit of Exercise Events

What’s so fun about a long, muddy bike race? I asked myself the same question several times this weekend when my shorts were so soaked that every time I sat down water squeezed out like a sponge or when my stomach starting lurching at mile 30. 

I’ll tell you what’s satisfying about pushing yourself to your limits; knowing that you can do it. It’s refreshing to take a step out of your everyday routine and thrust your body and mind into a state of blissful, in-the-moment confusion. I noted several times while whirling through the trees that my mind was blank. Yogis spend years learning to achieve this state and I found it in the woods.

Why pay money to suffer when you can do it for free? Good point, but race events ooze such positive energy it’s hard to wipe the smile off your face while immersed amongst high-energy, fit people and it’s way cheaper than therapy. What’s not to like about perky race announcers, cheerful volunteers, encouraging fans and the luring podium? It kind of gives you a rockstar allusion.

So consider it, maybe a 5K run or a sprint triathlon or even an endurance bike race. These events are food for the soul and body. Dig out your inner rockstar and set a goal on the other side of your comfort zone. It’s greener over there anyway.

Last-Minute Training

I'm tired. It might be the chartreuse pollen coma or the exercise flu due to my attempt to cram a month’s worth of training into a few weeks for a 9-hour mountain bike race. 


Cramming exercise is like trying to speed read a book for a paper that’s due in the morning. It’s not ideal and we’ll see if it can even be done.

For some reason, I have a lot of nonsense coming out of my mouth these days. I get caught frequently saying worrisome things to the cats like, “you’re such a good hunter. I love how you got that ball” or “come get your treat for doing such a good job scratching on your post.” Yes, they are trained to scratch on a scratching post. Really, cats can be trained.

My “training,” on the other hand, has rendered me useless. Multiple classes daily at the gym equals fatigue, piles of laundry, uncooked meals and bad business. Apparently, it hasn’t affected my ability to be the cat whisperer, though.

So, here’s my master plan for my last week of training.

1. Have kids do laundry — ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

2. Drink raw cacao smoothies before working out (recipe below). Raw cacao gives you a great caffeine boost without the crash.

3. Eat more. When else can you do that?

4. Sleep an extra hour every night - scratch that, it’s not happening.

5. Create some motivational sticky notes for my desk. These made the cut:

Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone~ N.D. Walsche 

The difference between winners and losers is that winners win ~ Me

Work what you got ~ Mary J. Blige

Get off Your Ass ~ Me

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going ~ Jim Ryun

Chocolate-Strawberry Smoothie

– 1 cup frozen strawberries
– 1 whole banana
– 2 cups fresh baby spinach (spinach is great for your muscles)
– 1 ounce raw, organic cacao powder or nibs (Whole Foods sells it)
– 1 cup coconut water

Let’s go!

Want Sexy, Beach Hair?

Here’s a recipe I created for quick, thick and sexy beach hair. Instead of spending up to $30 on the salon Surf Spray, just make your own for under a dollar.

Mix 4 oz. of warm water with 4 tsp of epson salt, 1 tsp honey, 1 tsp coconut oil (I like Trader Joe’s), 1/4 tsp lemon essential oil (use lemon juice if you don’t have essential oil), 1/4 tsp olive oil.

Mix well with a whisk and pour into a spray bottle. Spray a few spritzes on to wet hair, scrunch and let dry. 

Houdini Bunny

The Bunny somehow wedged its way into our house again this year despite tightly sealed doors and a few "over aged" children.

Mr. Cottontail and I don't see eye to eye on many candy-related issues, which presents a problem on basket filling day. I get it, he's got a lot of wicker to fill and is forced to buy his goodies economically. I'm sure he's incredibly thankful for that fluffy Easter grass.

Unfortunately, cheaper in candy means extra high fructose corn syrup, chemicals and plenty of red and blue food dye. I'm sure that candy shopping at Whole Foods is just out of the question.

In the past, the Bunny has been quite successful in leaving the right ratio of candy to useless trinkets. This carefully formulated equation ensures that 90% of the candy is consumed by noon, with a little help from mom and dad, and the non-food items provide mindless entertainment for the rest of the day until they break.  

This year, though, the Buns and I needed to have a little electronic chat. I realized that Skype might be too revealing, so after a little digging, I was able to track down his email address via gmail.

I decided that this Easter we would splurge on extra sugar and artificial everything just to mix it up a bit--live on the edge. I figured this might make up for the other 364 days of Trader Joe Joes, cat shaped ginger snap cookies and natural vanilla wafers. I also needed to specify that the non-food items have a little more utilitarian quality to them. Times are tight, let's make the most of these baskets. Bunny was agreeable to these changes and happy to supply extra sugar-encrusted eggs, since there was apparently a surplus this year.

I have to say, Houdini Bunny nailed it. I hope your Easter is just as sweet.

My Top Five Healthy Favorites for Spring

Well, here we are again. It’s spring and we basically skipped winter. Although I’m feeling a little jipped that we didn’t have a blowout, hunker-down snow storm this year and we only got a few days of skiing in, I’ve finally accepted that spring is here. 

The season is young and I’m feverishly trying to get in shape for an excellent mountain biking season. With all of this extra sunlight and warm weather, however, I’ve found some new springtime favorites.

1. Bon Appetit’s parsley, kale and berry smoothie

This is the perfect way to eat your greens without tasting them. Parsley is a natural anti-inflammatory and can help improve all sorts of ailments.

2. CXWORX core workout

This is a new 30-minute core training class from Les Mills. This class is super-intense and will have you ready for a bathing suit in no time. I’m loving the 30 minute format too. I catch my classes at Lynne Brick’s Belvedere.

3. Neti pot 

Hello, allergies. They’re here if you haven’t noticed. To prevent those pesky morning sinus headaches, I use my neti pot every night with 1/4 tsp salt and 1/4 tsp baking soda (this prevents the salt from burning). I know it’s gross, but it works.

4. Goldfish crouton salad

This one is really for the kids, but I like them too. I am one of those moms that doesn’t usually buy the “real” version of certain snack foods to avoid some of those pesky, unhealthy ingredients. After much negotiating from my kids I broke down and bought “real” goldfish, not the bunnies masquerading as goldfish, because I realized they weren’t that bad.

Put the goldfish on top of a salad with ranch dressing and you might be surprised how many salads your kids eat.

5. The perfect water bottle

I have found the Holy Grail of water bottles. This bottle is glass, which is the absolute safest material for preventing unnecessary leaching into your drink. You can use it for hot and cold beverages and it's dishwasher safe. Just don't break it; it's not cheap!

Happy spring.

Simple Inspirations

Finding and appreciating those moments in time that make you stop in your tracks are so rare these days. Sadly, those bits are all around us, but sometimes they have a hard time shining through all of the social noise and static in our daily routines. The realization that “the swing set is gone” has done that for me.

As I sit with a cup of coffee and a book while my daughters explore their new sense of freedom trolling around the mall, simple moments of joy surround me. Watching my two younger daughters walk off together hand-in-hand, giddy at the prospect of an hour together alone. The genuine smile of an old friend when she sees me for the first time in severalmonths. A simple lol text from my husband. The draw of a book to make me sit down.

Of course, I’m tired and stressed. Aren’t we all? My newest rescue kitty (kitty no.5, which puts us on the edge of hoarders) is in heat. I think I know why she was in the middle of a busy road. When I reached into my nightstand drawer in the middle of the night to get an extra ear plug, my husband said, “are you getting the gun?” Wailing aside, I find pure joy from my cats. Animals have an astoundingly pure way of expressing true love that can’t be replicated.

Despite the stress of my looming list…

taxes, grow business, get hair colored, exercise more, fold laundry, eat better, smile more, stretch, ride my mountain bike, create some art, eat less Altoids (at least I have found some creative uses for the tins)…

people have been scratching through the noise and inspiring me lately.

My sister in law has a new appreciation for life after a visit to the nebulous cancer world. I enjoy getting her spontaneous phone calls saying she’s coming to visit and will be in Baltimore in 8 hours. She helps me look at life in a new way and doesn’t even know it.

Even though I don’t live in NYC, I’m fortunate enough to be connected with a friend from the past who lives and works there. Stephanie Culen is a yoga and mentoring guru who inspires me from afar. She bleeds positivity and living in the moment, which is not easy to do on a daily basis.

What simple ways are you inspired?